A few years ago, I was having a working lunch with my operations head.
Midway through the conversation, she paused and looked at my wrist.
“I keep seeing that hairband on your wrist,” she said.
“And you don’t even have long hair. What is it?”
I hesitated.
It wasn’t a secret, but it felt oddly personal to explain.
“I’m trying something,” I finally said.
“I’m attempting to become complaint-free.”
She looked confused.
So I explained…
A Complaint-Free World
Complaining feels harmless because it sounds like a release.
But in practice, it’s very damaging.
It keeps the mind busy instead of resolving.
And when I complain to someone about something they can’t fix, I’m not offloading stress. I’m just spreading emotional noise.
As leaders, that matters.
Every time we vent, we load our teams with an invisible tax.
They now have to separate the signal from noise, stay steady, and solve problems or think creatively.
So I started a small experiment.
I came across a practice created by Will Bowen — A Complaint Free World.
The idea is simple.
You try to go 21 consecutive days without complaining.
You wear a rubber band on one wrist.
Every time you complain, you switch it to the other wrist.
The band serves as a physical reminder.
It makes the invisible visible.
It interrupts the habit mid-sentence.
Two weeks ago, when I started, I thought, “This should be easy. I hardly complain.”
I was wrong.
The habit is deeply ingrained.
I haven’t managed two consecutive days without moving the band.
Almost every meeting starts with a complaint.
Traffic. Pollution. The flu everyone seems to be catching.
It turns out, running a company without complaining is not easy.
Which is exactly why I think leaders need this practice the most.
Because on the days I don’t complain, even for a day, I feel noticeably calmer.
Clearer.
More creative.
And then she asked the most important question, “But how do you fix issues or solve problems if you’re not complaining?”
That’s when I explained what actually counts as a complaint.
What a complaint actually is
People think complaining is the same as raising an issue.
It’s not.
You go to a restaurant, order soup, and it’s served cold.
You call the server and say, “This soup is cold. Can you fix it?”
That’s not a complaint.
That’s a request for resolution.
But if you say nothing to the server and instead turn to your partner and say, “This place has really gone downhill. The service is terrible. Look at this soup.”
That’s a complaint.
Same thing at work.
If an employee isn’t performing, you speak to the employee directly.
Or you speak to HR and outline the next steps.
That’s not complaining.
But if you vent to someone else about how this person is costing you money and creating friction.
That is.
The rule is simple.
If you’re speaking to the person who can fix the issue, it’s not a complaint.
Anything else is.
Not complaining does not mean letting people walk over you.
It does not mean suppressing issues.
It’s about precision.
Complaints scatter energy.
Direct conversations concentrate it.
I want the team to see me as someone who solves, not vents.
She paused and said,
“I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter the last few days. I was starting to worry. This must be so hard”.
“It’s not, actually,” I said.
“Because you’re still allowed to think every complaint.”
The Caveat
This challenge is only about not speaking complaints.
When you keep talking about a problem, you keep feeding it.
When you keep your mouth shut, demand drops.
And slowly, the supply dries up.
Over time, the mind stops returning to the same loops.
Not through force.
Through lack of fuel.
Eckhart Tolle puts it well:
“When you complain, you make yourself into a victim.
When you speak out, you are in your power.”
The distinction matters.
What replaces complaining
As complaints reduce, something practical happens.
Time frees up.
Mental space clears.
Conversations get sharper.
Decisions come faster because less energy is spent rehearsing what’s wrong.
You don’t become artificially positive.
You become more precise.
And that’s when a founder is most useful to the business.
Take the challenge
I stayed with this challenge and the rubber band for over 6 months. My personal best was 8 consecutive days. But I can say it changed me for the better.
And this is one of those things where you can’t imagine or foresee the benefits until you commit and do it yourself.
So I would highly encourage you to take on the challenge.
Remember the rules:
- Wear a band as a physical reminder.
- Discuss the issue only to the person who can fix it or take it forward.
- When you complain, switch the band from one wrist to the other.
- Do not complain about you complaining.
- You are allowed to think about all the complaints but not speak them out.
- Expect to notice complaints everywhere. Especially in others.
- Do not complain about their complaining.
This isn’t about winning 21 days.
It’s about noticing where your attention leaks and correcting mid-sentence.
If you do this just for a few days, I promise you that your heart will feel clean and your mind will get clearer.
You will become a steadier, clearer, and more creative leader.
Welcome sequence poll-1
A quiet closing thought
Not everything that improves a business shows up on a dashboard.
Some of the most powerful shifts happen quietly inside the founder.
And when the founder is clear, the business usually follows.
Thank you for being here, I will see you next Thursday.
Surabhi
P.S. If you’re new here, this edition was growing as a founder. If you’re looking for more tactical business growth frameworks, check out these deep dives from the archive:
The 3 strategies used to double a client’s revenue in 12 months,
How to micromanage and not be “that” boss,
The Growth Velocity Framework:Choosing the right speed for your stage
